Prince Charles Desperately Withdraws All Money from Canadian Banks

The actions of Canadian banks freezing people’s accounts has frightened British Royals into taking desperate financial action.

Prince Charles was recently seen standing at an ATM outside an Ontario branch of the Toronto-Dominion Bank.  Talking with his brothers and sister, who were also in the queue to use the ATM, he was overheard saying:

“…Andrew has done his usual outstanding job of managing our family’s finances.  I haven’t the slightest idea who Mareva is, but I don’t want to get entangled with Trudeau just as my mother invades Ontario.”

Funds Removed from Canadian Banks

Press Secretary’s statement:

“HM The Prince of Wales has moved his funds to a new banking system founded by his brother, Prince Andrew.  The Royal Bank of Andy is headquartered in Little Saint James, U.S. Virgin Islands and has convenient ATM service throughout New York City, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and Little Rock, Arkansas.”

Financial Analysis of Canadian Banks

Andrea Mitchell, expert financial analyst for MSNBC, was breathlessly enthusiastic about the Royal Bank of Andy.  During a discussion with Chuck Todd on Meet the Press, she told Todd:  “Alan (Greenspan) and I are moving everything to the new bank.  Andrew has always shown leadership in both financial matters and social media.”

Off the Record:  Wall Street vs. Canadian Banks

During a discussion about purchasing more Crypto, David Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs was allegedly overheard saying, “…much like traditional record labels in the music industry, Andy’s new bank is simply an imprint of our financial institution and will help us to increase our revenue and net margin through the magic of branding our institution as something new when nothing has actually changed.”