A Bezos Underground LTD spokesperson announced that Bezos could be donating up to $250 Million in an all-out effort to eradicate the COVID-19 virus.
“Jeff is truly a man of vision and commitment. After speaking with David Solomon, his financial advisor at Goldman Sachs, both men agreed that it would make sense for Jeff to donate up to 0.25% of his net worth to this amazing cause.”
Asked by a female freshman high school journalist about how small his actual contribution was in relation to his wealth, Bezos responded: “I think that, ah, I’m a very goofy sort of person in many ways.”
Bezos’ spokesperson immediately followed up “…we’re not taking any more questions…” as Bezos was led out of the briefing room.
Off the Record: Jeff Bezos
Solomon spoke up on behalf of Bezos: “Look, the key thing to understand, young lady, is that we need Amazon employees to get back to work. $250 Million is going to buy a lot of washcloths so Amazon employees can periodically cover their mouths. That’s how you beat COVID-19 in the most economical way and not take money out of Amazon shareholder’s pockets.”
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