Joe Biden Changes Election Strategy, Renounces Midwest Roots

Jen O’Malley Dillon, Joe Biden’s new campaign manager, announced that Biden’s new election strategy includes the forceful rejection of his mid-west roots.

“Vice President Biden has lived on the east-coast for decades. As part of our grab for the east-coast elite vote, you’ll see the Vice President strongly denounce his mid-west roots and walk away from ‘The Deplorables.'”

We witnessed the beginning of his strategy pivot in Detroit when the Vice President forcefully put a common union worker in his place with his new talking points:

• You’re full of shit
• I’ll slap you
• You wanna fight
• Stop being a horse’s ass
• I’m not working for you
• Let’s take this outside

Off the Record:  Joe Biden

David Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs was overheard saying “…it’s about time! I’ve been telling him that while he’s not a born Blue Blood, through decades of political work, he’s made himself into a Blue Blood. Now, it doesn’t matter whether the Democrats or Republicans win or lose, Wall Street will prosper!”