After noticing an advertisement on Craigslist for the “…final 3 minutes of Star Wars 9,” Reddit user DontLookHere took the bait and purchased the video for $8. “I told my sister, what’s $8 to find out if I should spend the $35 I usually do on a movie ticket, popcorn, and a Pepsi?”
Much to his shock, he was relieved to find out that “…J. J. Abrams had done it again! He’s come up with a completely unique ending that ties everything together, across 9 movies, during the last 3 minutes of the Rise of Skywalker! Now I’m excited to see the leadup to how the movie ends with the big reveal that the entire 40+ years of movie-making was all about a dream R2D2 had of being a human and owning a dog named ‘Skywalker.’ Brilliant!”
Off the Record: Star Wars
A subsequent post on Reddit by user ImDaveSolomon, later identified by investigative journalists at the Washington Post as Dave Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs: “We all knew that J. J. would be the one to end Star Wars in a satisfactory and profitable way for Disney.”
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